Ibarat katak di bawah tempurung. I peek from underneath the coconut shell. Can't stay under the shell forever!
I want to be A, B, C, but.
I want to do X, Y, Z, but.
I know only God can fully satisfy, but.
I don’t want to simply be carried along by the waves, but where do I paddle towards?
No answers. Just questions. And the ocean as far as the eye can see. But with Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm huh.
I’m surprised by how Demon Slayer has given me a glimpse of what God might be like. :P
Our friend, Tanjiro, is one demon slayer who won’t give face if you’re a demon who kills/harms others. Guarantee he gonna kill you dy. No mercy in that sense. You get what is due. However, for every demon he kills, he actually never delights in their destruction. Never. And there is this shocking compassion he shows, even towards the demons he destroys. He mets out justice that comes from a righteous anger, and never in delight. At the risk of being sacrilegious (heh) … this actually helps me see that a loving God can send people to hell. Perhaps it’s a little like this Tanjiro character. God is always just, but also always kind.
Listening to Jonathan Ogden has been so refreshing. Usually, I find it a bit harder to take people named “Jonathan” seriously because that’s my brother’s name too HAHAHA, but I’m so glad to have stumbled across his music on Spotify.
As I was looking for a suitable recording of “Before the Throne of God Above” for church, his video popped up in my recommendations. (For once, I am immensely grateful for the YouTube algorithm!) Jonathan’s version of the song (0:00-5:30) is, by far, the best version I’ve heard! In a world of much noise and jarring sounds, Jonathan Ogden’s music is such a gift. Now it really makes sense to me that Saul calmed down when David played the harp!
Another thing I deeply appreciate about Jonathan Ogden is how he exemplifies the kind of balance which I think really matters in such a fragmented world. His lyrics aren’t just fluff. These days, Christian songs seem to fall into these extremes: either too rigid about always having “correct” lyrics (zero room for poetic expression and imagination), or too loose and abstract that it sometimes verges on heresy (poetry as an excuse for bad theology). Sometimes I wish we’d all take out the logs in our own eyes and just have the humility to learn from the other side – To come to a state where if I have bad theology, I’m gonna buck up and learn in humility, but if I’ve got a better grasp of theology, I’m gonna learn, in humility, to be gracious to those who don’t have that grasp yet.
Anyway! I thank God for Jonathan Ogden! He’s a true artist – someone who creates and appreciates beauty – who also holds the Word of the Master Artist in high regard. He’s someone whose music is not just pleasant to the ear, but also points to what matters most – a genuine love and desire for God.
Yes, the world is broken. How then should we live?
Is it enough to just “be”? To give others the gift of our presence. To persevere in doing things that sometimes feel small and almost frivolous. To do small acts with great love. And to just be OK with that, as we help others feel that it’s OK as well.
Oxford Dictionary defines ‘awareness’ as knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. Never having been expressly, verbally informed of the consequences of my scoliosis, my friend’s knowledge or perception of my angle of view must have been created from her observations of me when we were in university. This kind of awareness does not empower her to change the world. But she has definitely been truly present in the angle of my world. How often are we truly present with our friends who are different?
James Low, 11 November 2017.
For full article, visit https://www.facebook.com/notes/789792741809675
Sometimes I wonder whether I am too simplistic. Is it by nature, or am I just lazy, or has my brain just been dumbed down by entertainment and sensual pleasure?
My only comfort is that it doesn’t take big brains to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. It takes faith. And faith requires childlike trust – a certain humility that acknowledges our utter helplessness and dependence on God alone.
I remember telling a friend how I was so excited to have heard Ravi Zacharias speak live. I even mentioned it in my blog. Today, there is much grief caused by his sin, the brunt of which is borne by those who are still here – victims, family, friends, colleagues and those who were impacted by Ravi’s ministry. It’s painful.
I’ve always known intellectually that there’s no point idolising any Christian figure. But it still stings. Yes, we look to Jesus. Yes, we’re all fallen. Yes, the Bible is full of fallen people who God still chose to use. So why should Ravi’s fall come as a shock?
I think for me, it’s not just news of Ravi’s abuse, but also other struggles within self, community and nation, that have added to my disappointment. I’ve been learning to let go of certain dreams because I guess that’s what growing old and cynical up does to you. You suddenly realise the dreams you dreamt as a kid won’t be happening any time soon, so you learn to let go of expectations, trusting that God has bigger things in mind. But at the same time, with each dream that disappears, there is a growing cynicism. If left unchecked, we might even stop hoping for anything at all just to avoid disappointment.
But how can one live without hope?
Somehow this 1994 quote from Charles Colson came to mind:
“Where is the hope? I meet millions of people who feel demoralized by the decay around us. The hope that each of us has is not in who governs us, or what laws we pass, or what great things we do as a nation. Our hope is in the power of God working through the hearts of people. And that’s where our hope is in this country. And that’s where our hope is in life.”
Ultimately, no amount of cleverness or skill will save us. We may have the best brains, but information without transformation smells like trouble. And so it seems that our only hope, really, is in God’s power to transform hearts. Our only hope is… (much cringe but) the good news that Jesus has to offer!
At least that one dream of being reunited with Jesus and how Jesus will eventually make all things right – that dream will not disappoint.
Somehow ended up joining this group study on Genesis. And with all the death, decay and no-joke kinda violence & flooding going on in Genesis 5-7, my response is:
1) God we are really not worth Your time and pain. Why bother with us?
2) The fact that You did bother with us has this fresh WOW effect.
3) You not only bothered with us, but were deeply troubled, suffered and died for us. What insane, radical love. (There may be those who may wanna pick up stones to throw at me right now for describing God’s love as “insane” – “Stone the irreverent heretic!” – but I digress.)
4) Like everyone else, I too will die (I don’t think I’m Enoch stuff), but even if all dies, let my love for You never die. I can be this half dead, barely alive, war ravaged creature that crawls up to You, but let my love for You never die. But something tells me that I won’t end up looking too pathetic la. God is faithful. And God can be trusted (whether I become pathetic creature or not).
3rd verse of “O Sacred Head Now Wounded”:
What language shall I borrow to thank thee, dearest friend, for this thy dying sorrow, thy pity without end? O make me thine forever; and should I fainting be, Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to thee.
Sometimes I suspect that we so desperately want to know what God has called us to do because we’re afraid of failure.
While it’s true that we’re probably not living up to our full God-given potential if we’re not doing what we were made for, most of the time, I think my motivation to figure out God’s call is to have an easy life – a life where I feel that I absolutely belong and am loved. A place where I’m insanely good at what I do and absolutely nail everything. But that just goes to show how insecure I really am, and my flawed sense of worth.
While I acknowledge how Jesus’ death on the cross puts forth the mystery of our worth and unworthiness co-existing, I still ask what I should be doing. Yes, our worth is not in what we can or cannot do, but what have I been made for? How do I come to a place of accepting myself, but not glorying in self? A place of embracing the person who God has made me, and allowing God to embrace me. A place where I truly feel that I belong, not because I went looking for a sense of belonging, but because it is where I truly delight in God and He in me.
“I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast! And when I run I feel his pleasure.” ― Eric Liddell, Olympic Gold Medalist runner.
“In the ebb and flow of living,
as we wander through the years
We’re told to listen to a voice
we can’t hear with our ears
We’re told to live by something
that we can’t see with our eyes
Is there really any purpose
to this foolish exercise?
Could it be
You make Your presence known so often by Your absence?
Could it be
that questions tell us more
than answers ever do?
Could it be
that You would really rather die than live without us?
Could it be,
the only answer
that means anything
is You?”
– Michael Card
It’s one of those days where I ask, “What’s the point?”
It’s also one of those days where I was expressly told by someone, “Your work matters”. – Comfort for the day. But it doesn’t take the questions away.
I suspect I know what you’d say. But I still I wish I could hear from you.
I’d agree that one’s presence is far more pronounced by one’s absence. You feel it when you don’t have it, or lose it.
But could it be? That God would really “rather die than live without us”? And that the “point” of all this living and dying will be known in hindsight?
The problem with living on my own is how certain foodstuff takes 10,000 years to finish because it comes in bulk packaging.
I think I last bought Milo powder in 2018 (or was it 2017?), and despite being stored in an air tight container, it got exposed to air over time (Ha.) and thus, hardened into this Milo “rock”.
In an attempt to salvage what I could (true to my kiamsiap aunty nature), I chucked the Milo rock into a bowl, soaked it in hot water, and voilà, Milo iceberg.
It took time and several hot water baths for that Milo rock to become what it is meant to be: liquid!
I then found myself wondering if, over time, my heart had become like too: hard, and in need of my attention, God’s continued dousing of hot water and His gentle stirring every now and then.
Rock hard Milo: unglam.
Rock hard heart: unglam also.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart” .
PEEPING FROG 